So, you got yourself a first date. You managed to get them interested with that first little meet-up or secured their interest online where social anxieties are less prominent. But now there’s a date set, a point in time where you’ve agreed to meet with this person face to face, to get to know each other, let your personality shine and hopefully keep them interested enough to want a second date or even a relationship.
It may feel like a daunting interaction to look forward to because of this, you’re probably worrying about all that could go wrong, that could lead you to the dreaded friend-zone.
But it doesn’t have to feel this way, because you’ve got your likeable traits, and the potential to spark a strong connection. You might just need a few helpful tips to point you in the right direction to making that bond, so we’ve put some together here to help you get over those first date nerves.
How Do I Choose Our First Date Destination?
While it might be very appealing to stick to what’s familiar when it comes to planning a first date, it might be a good idea to think outside of the box. Being open to trying new things, especially with your date as this does wonders for you on the attractiveness scale, makes for much better, longer lasting memories, and shows your date that you are relaxed, fun and outgoing.
Why not opt for a day at the planetarium or take your date on a throw-back adventure to a roller rink? Keep in mind that the specific activity you choose will depend entirely on your – and your date’s preferences – but it can really help to get a bit creative.
What Should I Talk About?
Playing it too safe and turning down new experiences is what’s going to make the date just another one of those boring, forgettable interactions for your date. You’re not there to exchange questions about each other in an interview-like environment till they magically decide that they want a relationship with you based on your answers alone.
Going on a date is an opportunity to express your true self, have an enjoyable and unique experience with another person, to get this person thinking about you, the fun they had with you, and how they can’t wait for the next date. If you’re worried about what you might say, take some time beforehand to memorize a few interesting topics that you can bring up in the event the conversation lulls.
What Happens if we Argue?
Everyone has their own opinions and outlooks on life, other people, things and topics. We’re all unique and so when sharing our ideas and opinions there’s inevitably going to be disagreements, but these disagreements aren’t always bad. Having different outlooks to someone else is how we improve together.
It’s always good to take someone’s different perspective on something in to account, it gives us new ways of thinking about something and in some cases, teaches us more than we could’ve learnt on our own.
That’s why someone who always only agrees with everything you say, and has exactly the same interests and opinions to you, is not generally an interesting person. There’s no room for growth. So, don’t be afraid to disagree with something your date brings up.
It shows to them that you are your own person with your own interests and passion, it makes for more interesting and dynamic conversation, and –crucially- it communicates that you are comfortable with conflict, confident in your own ideas and who you are, and that you aren’t afraid to be assertive.
How Should I Greet My Date?
It can be difficult to come across as warm when you’re really nervous, so keep in mind that a smile can go a long way in putting your date at ease. Remember, just as you’re likely to nervous, your date might be too, so smiling warmly can help them to open up right from the start.
When it comes to choosing between a handshake and a hug, it is usually a good idea to play it safe at the start, until you get to know your date and their boundaries.